Kentucky Governor Matt Blevin on Education Cuts and Zombie Apocalypse

The Covington Quibbler    April 11, 2016

Governor Matt Blevin revealed today that his proposed cuts to higher education are actually part of long-term plan known as the Planning for Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse, or PIZA.

“Look, it’s pretty simple. Zombies eat brains, right? My budget cuts to higher ed will make sure that Kentucky brains just aren’t that nourishing. Once the zombies try a few, they’ll want to move on to Ohio and other states. Though I’m not sure about Tennessee.”

His next steps as governor will be to continue to make teaching a horrible, underpaid profession with no retirement funds so that all teachers will leave the state, making it even more undesirable for zombies to feed in Kentucky. 

“Look, I know I’m safe from zombies but I want to make sure all Kentuckians have a similar chance at survival,” the governor said.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s