Would it be wrong of me, while in London, to go see Cats and shine a laser pointer onto the stage just to see what would happen?

Just wanted to give a heads up on some upcoming holiday specials.

Donald Trump’s White Christmas: Donald Trump and Antonin Scalia sing “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” over and over again for an hour.

Bill O’Reilly and the War on Christmas: Bill O’Reilly and a Fox News crew visit department stores and shoot anyone who wishes them “Happy Holidays.”

Ancient Treasures with Ben Carson: Ben Carson goes off to Egypt to find grain in the pyramids.

A Very Perry Christmas: Rick Perry with special guests Scott Walker and Bobby Jindal talk about how they would have been great but nobody cares or watches.