Yay! I made it to the end of the month. I hope you enjoyed the little weirdness I brought to you each day.
Unlike most of his generation, Gerald loved all the new technology and gadgets the kids these days used. And selfies! He loved selfies! Nothing gave him greater pleasure than manifesting his ghostly form as a black shadow holding an axe in the background when they thought they were alone.
Everyone thought Liza was simply a hard worker, staying late every night after everyone else had left. Now, as she held the small doll in her left hand and the large pin in her right, they would realize that after hours was the best time to collect hair samples from their desk chairs.
Even as he hung there, shackled and stripped, Fred didn’t mind. He had always dreamed of being abducted by aliens, even if it meant some uncomfortable probing. He would make a fortune off the book. That’s when he realized that the little grey beings carrying the very large probe were approaching him from the front.
Jerry blew out the candle in his jack o’lantern scarecrow. Another Halloween down. He started to go back into the house when he heard a noise behind him. He turned and was face to face with the scarecrow, its carved out eyes still glowing, green this time. Then the stuffed coat sleave arms wrapped around his neck.
Greg slammed the lock down on his bunker and gave it a hard twist to seal it. The Zombie Apocalypse had started but he had enough can goods, jerky, and Twinkies to last for decades. He turned at the sound of scratching and saw the gray/black tide approaching. That’s when he realized the zombie virus had migrated to the cockroaches.
Dr. Wolfenstein watched as his assistant was drained of blood by the thousands of mosquitos that crawled over his skin. Obviously, he had gotten the formula for the new repellant wrong. On the bright side though, he saw a new future in the bio-weapon business.
“When I was a kid, this is what tablets looked like,” Davey’s mother had said. He looked at the stupid silver screen with red sides and two dumb knobs. What good was this? Then the cursor started moving. “Hello Davey, do you want to play?” it wrote out on the screen. This might be fun after all, Davey thought.
Patrick remembered thinking to himself it was the mother of all spiders when he dropped a phone book on the huge arachnid. Now, looking out at the thick, white webs that surrounded his house and covered his windows, he realized that it may well have been the Mother of all Spiders.
“Daddy, my dolly needs to be burped,” Jenny said.
Her father smiled and held the doll against his shoulder, patting its back. He stopped smiling forever a few seconds after he felt the barbed tongue enter his ear.
Bobby held the book in front of the silver-haired man’s face. “Sorry old chap, but you can see for yourself.”
At the top of the page was the heading “Spell to Win the Republican Primaries”
- Claws of weasel
- Tongue of snake
- Eye of Newt (Gingrich)
And then he advanced with the melon-baller.