I am currently at a writing workshop any my YA story, “Rabbits” was workshopped yesterday. Our instructor, David Yoo, gave an assignment to the class to write a paragraph that describes the character’s bed room. So I thought I would do it here.
Paul walked into his bedroom and flopped onto the bottom bunk, staring up at the springs holding the mattress above. He used to share the room with his older brother, now married. Instead of sleeping up there, it now held the stuffed animals of his childhood, the ones he didn’t wan to get rid of just yet. He turned on the lamp clamped to the bed post and picked up the Batman comic book that had been lying on the floor. He had already read it several times, but that usually didn’t matter. He just flipped through it, trying to get lost in the colors and the action. He day-dreamed a little about being a side-kick, a Robin to his own super-hero. That kept him occupied for about twenty-minutes before he threw the comic back on the floor.
Since he was the youngest, it was the smallest of the four bedrooms, on the east side of the house. Now, in the late afternoon, the room was filled with shadows. He spent as little time in here as he could, preferring the living room with he noise of the TV. But if he wanted to avoid his father, he hid in his room.
I love the sense of menace you added in the last sentence. It crept up out of the description and really left me wanting more.