It’s a Winter Solstice, Charlie Brown.

After being tricked a few too many times with the football, Charlie Brown decides to sacrifice Lucy in order to bring about the New Year.

I’m Dreaming of a White Santa

Starring Megyn Kelly. On the Fox Network.

Santa Claws is Coming To Town

After Sabertooth eviscerates all the town’s Santas and toy store owners, it’s up to Wolverine to come save the day and kick some ass. There will be fight scenes on moving Christmas trains, on flying sleighs, and speeding semis.

Lord of the Five Golden Rings

Peter Jackson takes one of your favorite Christmas songs and turns it into three three hour long specials. There will be plucky Hobbits, dashing dwarfs, sexy elves, and wise wizards. Scores of orcs will be slaughtered every ten minutes!

Hippopacalypse

On SyFy. Carnage ensues after Santa actually brings a town’s children the hippopotami they asked for for Christmas. But the displaced hippos are hungry, hungry, and it’s the town’s children they want to eat!