The Next Batman

So Ben Affleck has been cast as the new Batman opposite Henry Cavill’s Superman and the internet erupted with demands he be removed. I personally have no strong feelings about this. My favorite role of Ben Affleck was his video with Jimmy Kimmel.  But I also remember thinking “what were they thinking?” when Michael Keaton was cast for the role. Beetlejuice as Batman? Seriously? But of that series of Batman movies, Keaton was the best Batman of the lot. But who else could they have cast?

Mark Wahlberg: One of my students suggested this actor. He certainly has come along way from the those underwear ads. However, perhaps producers were already anticipating the Saturday Night Live skit, “The Boogie Dark Nights Return.”

Jeremy Renner: Already taken.

Bradley Cooper: Perhaps, but maybe Hangover part Pi has already started.

Ryan Reynolds: Why not? He has yet to be in a successful super-hero movie.

Daniel Radcliffe: Too young? Too short? Too Harry Potter?

Tom Cruise: Too old? Too short? Too Tom Cruise?

Jack Black: Well, maybe if they were casting for Bat-Mite.

Robert Downey Jr.: Hey, he’s already scored as playboy billionaire philanthropist in a fancy suit. Perhaps he wants to stretch.

Johnny Depp: Who wouldn’t want to see Batman portrayed as Captain Jack Sparrow?

Benedict Cumberbatch: He proved he could be badass in Star Trek and he’s already one of the world’s greatest detectives. Could work.

Tobey McGuire: He’s too old now for Spider-Man, but maybe he wants to get back into the tights. Spider-Bat anyone?

Tom Welling and Brandon Routh: They’ve already played Superman/Clark Kent. Let’s give them a chance at the Bat.

How about the first openly gay actor playing Batman? I mean we’ve all heard the rumors about Bats.

Wentworth Miller: Kudos for recently coming out and taking a stand against Russia’s anti-LGBT laws. Besides, residuals from Prison Break are probably starting to dwindle.

Matt Bomer: He’s already done the voice for Superman in Superman: Unbound and has shown he can do suave and sophisticated in White Collar. He would certainly look good in tights and . . .  I better stop now.

So who would you pick?


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